There are some well-researched ingredients for making good sex: consent, communication, trust, pleasure, playfulness, openness to new experiences and making mistakes. These are all undeniably important. What I'm not such a big fan of is telling you what kind of sex you should be having, or even if you should be having sex at all! Sex can get really complicated really fast, especially in a world that talks about it all the time but rarely says anything useful or accurate.
What do people get out of pleasurable sex? When I talk to people about experiencing pleasure on their own terms (no matter how bizarre or oppressed it may seem to others) they talk about how it can heal the wounds of trauma. When I talk to people about being able to make informed choices about their body and feel good enough about their body, it changed their ideas about what made them feel worthy in a world so focused on physical beauty. When I talked to people about learning how to move toward relationships that nourished them and away from relationships that depleted them, they said it made space for self love. These kinds of changes can be revolutionary in a person's life.
But I want to be clear: I am an expert on sexual health, I am not an expert on your sexuality.
I’d like to share the knowledge and tools I’ve acquired throughout the years with you, and assist you on your journey as you explore your sexuality on your own terms.
Professional background. I attended the University of Waterloo, St. Jerome’s College for Psychology and Sexuality, Marriage, & Family. With my dedication to masturbation and pleasure, I started a sex-toy home party business called, Toy Time with Tynan incorporating sexual health education into my business. I was the leader of Hot n’ Spicy, a peer sex-education group on campus. I conducted research in sexual attitudes (article here). With my programs emphasis on a Social Justice framework, I was taught the intersectionality between sexual health access and race, gender identity, mental and physical abilities, sexual orientation, relationship orientation, class, religion, geography, and cultural belief systems. I also acknowledge my social location as an employed, disabled, queer, nonbinary, trauma-survivor, and settler with German and Slovak ancestry.
After my university education, I went on to work with Natural Healthcare Practitioner and Aromatherapist Tracey Tief at Anarres Apothecary in Toronto. I learned how to use essential oils for sexual and reproductive healing. I learned alternative non-hormonal methods of birth control and grew my holistic understanding of sexual health between the mind, body, and spirit.
During this time, I began studying with Beth Murch in her Revolutionary Doula Training program and specialized in sexuality throughout pregnancy and the postpartum period. Talking to people about their experiences with sex and birth has fundamentally shifted my understanding of what makes good sex good— here’s a hint: a much broader definition of sex and an even stronger emphasis on pleasure.
I’ve interviewed for several publications, podcasts, spoken at the Playground Conference and the 4trimesters Perinatal Conference. I also teach a Sex & Birth Support Person course with Doula Canada and run workshops on Sex & Birth and Pleasure After Kids.