values & beliefs
I believe in providing counselling services with full-transparency, which includes my values and beliefs as a counsellor, so you can decide if we are a good fit. You may find that some of these values are more or less important to you, and that's ok! If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me directly.
Mind, body, and spirit. Our sexuality is impacted by how our body functions, our thoughts and feelings about sex, including how we relate (or don't relate) to others. But these three aspects of our health do not operate in isolation. How our body functions can impact how we feel about sex, and how we feel about sex can impact how our body functions. And how we think we are supposed to show-up as sexual beings in the world (the spiritual realm) will impact both our bodies and our minds. In the medical world, this is referred to the biopsychosocial model, meaning: health and wellness is determined by the interaction between our biology, psychology, and social supports.
Trauma-informed sex-positivity. Trauma-informed means I understand how trauma can impact our relationship to others and our own sexuality. Sex-positive means I appreciate that sex can be a healthy and even an integral part of a person's overall wellness. Trauma-informed sex-positivity means I support you in cultivating whatever sexuality is meaningful and enriching for you. It also means that if what you enjoy to do sexually is partially informed by traumatic experiences (and is between consenting adults), I believe that it is valid and healthy, not pathological.
Sexuality exists across the life-cycle. I specialize in working with young adults, women, mothers, parents, caregivers, and pregnant folks, and I recognize that people who experience sexual desire are born sexual beings and we die sexual beings regardless of age or ability. With my background in doula work, I have taken a particular interest in postpartum sexual health and am the founder of postpartumsex.com.
Sexuality and (dis)abilities. There is a pervasive myth that people with disabilities are either incapable of having sex or are not interested in having sex, which is by and large untrue. Differing mental and physical abilities will absolutely impact how a person can engage with sex, when, or with whom, but it does not mean you do not have a sexual self. You are as deserving of and entitled to sexual expression on your own terms as much as everyone else.
Queer & Trans affirmative counselling. I identify as a queer nonbinary person, which means I have some lived experience with these identities, but mostly an appreciation for how queer and trans identities and experiences vary across individuals. I value each unique person's relationship to their 2SLGBTQIA+ identities. You are never too queer and you are always queer enough. You are valid and real.
Asexual and grey sexual are valid. I realize the A in the above acronym is meant to capture those who identify as asexual, but it deserves additional attention as it is often lost in conversations about 2SLGBTQIA+ identities. If you have no desire to have sex and/or no sexual attraction to others, never have, or rarely do and want to explore sexual health in the context of your reality, I will support you.
Sex work is real work. Before and after briefly working in the industry, I have always believed sex work is real work. I have worked with sex workers who love their work, who don't love their work (similar to many other people across most industries), who want to get out of the work, or who's opinion of sex work changes day-to-day. Whether it is your sex work that brings you to counselling or a completely unrelated issue but you don't want to hide what you do for a living, I am prepared to meet you where you are at.
Accessible counselling for everyone. Whether you live in a rural community, require a mobility device, or are tired of people assuming you don't have a sex life because of your mental or physical abilities, I will work with you to address your sexual health needs. I believe everyone should have access to sexual health services, therefore I offer online sessions when in-person counselling is not possible.
Kink & BDSM is not a pathology. On-going research and decades of community development have made it clear that consensual kink, power-play, and/or pain-play relationships can be healthy, safe, and empowering. If you are looking for counselling to help you ease into your kinkier-side or just need someone who won't pathologize your pleasure, I can support you.
Feminism is relevant and sexism hurts everyone. I am well-versed in how gender roles and stereotypes impact our sexual behaviour. Feminism, and specifically feminist theories that incorporate an understanding of intersectionality and trans rights, can help us understand power-dynamics at work, within our families, or in our romantic and/or sexual relationships. I believe understanding how internalized ideas about gender roles shapes our behaviour can be pivotal in helping all of us break-free from oppressive relationships (or at the very least challenge them).
Anti-oppressive & anti-racist practices. As a settler, I have an understanding of how colonization has pathologized black and indigenous bodies and sexuality. I also have an understanding of how queer, trans, and BIPOC communities are over-policed by law enforcement and institutions like the Children's Aid Society. If you work with me, I will always take extreme caution in instances when confidentiality must be broken for reasons related to reports of child abuse, harm to oneself or others, or counselling records subpoenaed by the courts. I have also familiarized myself with different sexual health services in the city should the most appropriate course of action be a referral to a BIPOC care provider.
Sessions can take place:
In-person (for Toronto residents)
Signal video conferencing
or phone sessions
*PLEASE NOTE: my office is not a scent-free space due to the nature of aromatherapy. However, no synthetic fragrances are used anywhere in the office or washroom. All diffusions, perfumes, and cleaning materials are made from plant-based products with essential oils.